Mentorship gives fatherless boys in South Africa a chance to find strong, caring men who guide them with kindness and respect. These mentors help boys build confidence, learn important values like courage and honesty, and discover what healthy masculinity really means. Through fun activities and close support, the boys find belonging and hope, breaking free from cycles of pain and anger. This growing movement is lighting a path toward a better future for these boys and their communities.
Mentorship provides fatherless boys with positive male role models who offer guidance, support, and character-building experiences. It helps them develop self-esteem, emotional strength, and healthy masculinity through long-term relationships, group activities, and values like respect, courage, and kindness.
Across South Africa, countless boys navigate childhood without the steady hand of a father. This loss, though not always spoken, hangs heavily in classrooms and sports fields alike. When the subject of fathers comes up, some boys withdraw in silence, while others mask their feelings with humor. Their longing for belonging and guidance is almost tangible, leaving educators and social workers with a pressing question: In the absence of fathers, who helps these boys discover what it truly means to become a man?
The roots of this crisis run deep. South Africa’s turbulent history – marked by the forced removals of apartheid, persistent unemployment, and decades-long social instability – has torn many families apart. In many townships and rural communities, fatherlessness has become a norm rather than an exception, passed down across generations. The effects are profound: research consistently links the absence of a father to difficulties in emotional regulation, lower self-esteem, and an increased risk of dropping out of school. Without supportive male role models, many boys struggle to find direction and self-worth, leaving them vulnerable to gangs, substance abuse, and cycles of violence that have become all too familiar in the country’s headlines.
For those working on the ground, these statistics have faces – boys searching for affirmation and belonging. The question is no longer whether fatherlessness is a problem, but what can be done to heal its wounds and prevent its damage from echoing into the next generation.
Amid this backdrop, Jaco van Schalkwyk recognized an urgent need for intervention. He founded The Character Company with a bold aim: to confront the roots of South Africa’s social challenges by investing in boys early, guiding them towards healthy masculinity. Van Schalkwyk believes that resolving the crises of violence, crime, and gender inequality depends on what society offers its young men. “We can’t address these national challenges unless we start with our boys,” he insists.
The Character Company’s solution is as ambitious as it is straightforward: connect fatherless boys with men who can serve as positive mentors. These volunteers commit to regular, long-term involvement, offering guidance that is both practical and deeply personal. Over more than ten years, the program has impacted the lives of over a thousand boys, delivering thousands of mentorship sessions that blend structured learning with real-world experience. Camps by rivers, group activities during school holidays, and community gatherings become spaces where boys can witness positive values in action and feel genuinely seen.
Mentors in the program do more than talk about good character – they model it. By sharing their successes and struggles, they demonstrate that masculinity can be rooted in empathy, accountability, and kindness rather than aggression or dominance. This hands-on approach provides boys with the acceptance and consistent support they often miss at home.
The impact of this mentorship becomes clear through the stories of its alumni. Take David Mokoka, who remembers the anger and resentment that once defined his youth. “Without a father, I was filled with hatred and bitterness,” he recalls. Joining The Character Company marked a turning point. Adventure camps and regular mentorship helped him shed layers of anger and isolation. He found belonging on river trips, laughter around campfires, and the realization that he could shape his own identity. For David, the program’s influence made the difference between continuing a cycle of pain and breaking free to embrace a more caring, confident way of being a man.
Kamo Pule, another graduate, describes his experience as a journey from insecurity to self-assurance. He credits group activities, faith-centered relationships, and the steady presence of mentors for giving him a sense of stability and worth. Through these experiences, Kamo’s desire to help younger boys grew. The camps became more than just a break from routine; they were places where relationships deepened and self-discovery flourished. The sense of being valued and understood catalyzed significant personal growth.
Mentorship through The Character Company doesn’t just change individuals; it ripples outward to their families and communities. John Motau, reflecting on his own journey, says the absence of his father left a void, but the program filled it with new forms of respect and empathy. Vulnerability – once a source of shame – became a means of building real connections, both with peers and with women. These transformations highlight just how meaningful consistent guidance can be for boys yearning for direction.
South Africa’s struggle with masculinity echoes debates happening worldwide. Traditional notions – rooted in authority, emotional restraint, and stoic toughness – are being questioned and reshaped. For many young men, the lack of a clear definition of manhood brings uncertainty. Without positive guidance, their search for identity can take destructive turns.
The Character Company’s mentors recognize this challenge. Their mission goes beyond providing role models; they aim to anchor boys in values that withstand cultural and generational shifts. As Van Schalkwyk explains, a deeply rooted value system offers stability and direction, shaping decision-making throughout life. The program’s curriculum, inspired by both classic philosophy and contemporary psychology, focuses on habits that build character: honesty, respect, courage, self-discipline, and kindness. These are not distant ideals but daily practices, cultivated through real relationships and shared experience.
For alumni like Kamo Pule, the lessons endure far beyond campfires and riverbanks. Self-discipline transforms from a chore into a chosen way of life. Giving back to family, especially to mothers who sacrificed so much, becomes a source of pride. The guidance and values absorbed in the program illuminate every future decision, echoing the age-old idea that character shapes destiny.
Across history, societies have relied on mentorship and rites of passage to guide boys into adulthood. From the initiation rituals of African tribes to the apprenticeships of medieval Europe, the journey to manhood has always required guidance. What sets the present apart is the intentional effort to redefine what it means to be a man – and to anchor that definition in compassion and strength.
In this light, mentorship becomes more than a well-meaning service; it forms the scaffolding of a healthier society. It bridges the gaps left by disrupted families, gives hope to boys at risk, and sows the seeds for a new generation free from cycles of harm. Alumni of The Character Company speak with gratitude for what they have gained, but they also challenge society to imagine a future where every boy, regardless of background, finds the support he needs to thrive.
Ultimately, the transformation begins in small, powerful moments – a boy’s first real friendship, his confidence after overcoming a challenge, the realization that he matters and belongs. South Africa’s movement toward positive masculinity may not yet be widespread, but its roots are deepening and its promise is undeniable. As the journey from isolation to community unfolds, the possibility of a brighter, more compassionate future comes into view – not just for individual boys, but for the nation as a whole.
Fatherless boys often struggle with emotional regulation, low self-esteem, and a lack of positive male role models. These challenges increase risks such as dropping out of school, involvement in gangs, substance abuse, and cycles of violence. The legacy of apartheid, high unemployment, and social instability has led to widespread fatherlessness, especially in townships and rural communities, making these challenges a deep social crisis.
The Character Company connects fatherless boys with caring, committed male mentors who provide guidance, support, and character-building experiences. Through long-term relationships, group activities, adventure camps, and community gatherings, mentors model healthy masculinity rooted in empathy, accountability, kindness, and courage. This consistent support helps boys build confidence, learn values, and break free from cycles of pain and anger.
The program focuses on cultivating habits and values such as honesty, respect, courage, self-discipline, and kindness. These values are taught not just as abstract ideals but practiced daily through real relationships and shared experiences. Mentors aim to reshape traditional notions of masculinity by encouraging emotional openness, accountability, and compassion.
Alumni like David Mokoka and Kamo Pule describe mentorship as life-changing. David overcame anger and bitterness by finding belonging and purpose through camps and mentorship, while Kamo gained self-assurance and a desire to help others. These transformations extend beyond individuals, positively influencing their families and communities by promoting empathy, respect, and healthy relationships.
South Africa faces ongoing issues of violence, crime, and gender inequality, often linked to harmful traditional ideas of masculinity emphasizing dominance and emotional suppression. Redefining masculinity towards empathy, kindness, and accountability is crucial to breaking destructive cycles and creating a healthier society. This shift helps boys grow into men who contribute positively at home and in their communities.
Mentorship serves as a modern rite of passage, providing guidance that many fatherless boys lack. By offering positive role models and community support, mentorship builds character and resilience that ripple outward to families and neighborhoods. Over time, this fosters social cohesion, reduces violence, and lays the foundation for a more just and compassionate society. The Character Company’s decade-long work shows that investing in boys’ character development is a powerful strategy for national healing and growth.
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